Future.

I said I wanted August to wow me, but I didn't quite expect it to actually happen.

My mom and Aunt got to visit this past week, I learned about myself, I worked, I cried, I grumbled and didn't sleep very much. I *also* gave my notice at Starbucks, because

I got a job.

I got a good job, a job in a high profile area (I won't say where here, but if you snoop enough, you'll figure it out.) and I got a considerable increase in pay-which brings me to near tears... New job, new pay rate means I'm moving back to the city, quite possibly somewhere in Manhattan. By myself.


I KNOW.

Living in Bronxville has been an interesting season... I won't lie and say that I loved it, but I definitely had some fantastic moments, and hey-I had a roof over my head. I really have very little to complain about. I am glad that season is (quickly) coming to a close.

Suffice it to say, I am giddy with excitement, and awestruck at the very present, very real hand of God in my life. I have had favor, I have had provision, from rent being taken care of, to someone randomly handing me a $16 metro card, as I needed to reload. There is no question that my time here in New York is very much on purpose, and I cannot wait for what the future holds.

At this point, September has complete creative control, but it should be aware-the bar is set very high.

Aaaand because I think I may have signed away the rights to my firstborn this afternoon, my thoughts and opinions are mine alone, not belonging to or affiliated with any company. I am just me. And happy to be here. ;)

Life In Pink.

It’s been kind of a weird month. Not necessarily bad, but different. Strange.

God has tested and pressed and spoken to me in ways I could not have imagined, dared, or dreamed. A friend of mine has gone through a pretty tough situation in his personal life; through him, God has shown me an example of true love and forgiveness that astonishes me and takes away my word-making abilities.

I got to see my brother in Boston (very) briefly, and that was a long, however lovely day. I haven’t seen him since December, and he’s so much taller! He’s now pushing 6’1, leaving my 5’3 down here in the dust, almost a foot away. I love that my brother and I like each other. (mostly)

If A turns into B, and C happens, D will be my next great adventure- involving moving closer to Manhattan again, which would mean even further changes. I’ve been praying about leading a community group at church, and with a new season and new location, I might finally focus on that novel/memoir/nonprofit I’ve been daydreaming about. I know the first step towards getting anything done is just to do it, but I haven’t had a lot of mental or emotional energy to spare as of late.

That’s pretty much where I’m at. Haven’t slept much this month, sometimes I get frustrated with my situation and my location and job, then I walk past a restaurant playing Edith Piaf's La Vie En Rose, harmonized by murmurs and the gentle clinks of wineglasses. I breathe in, and remember there is so much more ahead that the here and now.

 I can look back on this year and clearly see how I've grown. I’m grateful for that progress, even though I didn’t always like the process. Today, I’m looking forward, into this new season, eyes on the ground*, head in the clouds, nose in a book, heart chillin with God, ready for whatever comes next.

Dear August: Wow me.

P.S. IF you want to read some more of my stuff, check out Graceland. I’m doing a super fun series called Dirty Laundry.

*That’s what we do here. Eyes on the ground, and if anything happens on the (subway) train, IGNORE IT.

Summer is hot.

I spend my days in a refrigerated Starbucks, or in front of a fan. I have a slight obsession with Blood Orange sorbet, and Brussels cookies from Pepperidge Farms. In the heat, the chocolate melts and gets all over my fingertips. I have daydreams of going vegan while eating goat cheese and crackers.

I sometimes get tired of feeling like I'm in an uphill battle in my life, and so I sit in front of a fan and watch an entire season of Best Ink on Oxygen because, "Hey, day off!" and "Hey, cable!" and "Hey, marathon!" I don't even really like tattoos, but now I kind of want one.

I believe in vacations. I believe in cold brewed iced coffees, and staying in your pajamas all day. I believe in staying up late, and bubble baths, I believe in sunshine, and sunsets, I believe in glittery nail polish, and I believe in deep rest.

So how was your Thursday?

Open Hands

Summer has set in up here in New York. Lines at Starbucks stretch out the door, and recent 90 degree temperatures threaten sanity.

While equally hot, my life a year ago was so different. I'm now in a place of stability and security, where a year ago, it sometimes felt like I was barely hanging on. I live in a tiny town just outside the city, with three babysitting jobs and as many hours as I want at Starbucks. I am connected closely with my church, and my friendships have matured... Namely, we're all counting the days until I'm 21, and can go to karaoke night at this super cool Dr. Who themed bar.

I'm learning to keep my eyes open to possibility, and being flexible enough to be obedient to God, even if I don't see the point.

Something that has been echoing in my mind lately, (and following me wherever I go) is that God trusts us with greater and greater things, but that we should never scoff at the small.

At this moment in time, my plan to go to Australia stands as a question of obedience. When I was handed something that seemed impossible, would I balk at the challenge, believing God not capable, or would I trust in what I heard, and believe that God would never let me fall?

I definitely learned quite a bit about myself, not limited to the awareness that I care too much about what others think of me. Guess what? I'm not in Australia right now. Guess what? I'm perfectly fine. In fact, opportunity has opened like a flower in front of me. I am protected, and I am surrounded by intention.

God is good.